Sleep's Holy Mountain just sounds like some awful horrible dude weenus being wrangled for 52 minutes
STILL BETTER'N DOPETHRONE
Saturday, April 21, 2018
Friday, April 13, 2018
(Formerly) Five Star Review: Slapp Happy/Henry Cow - Desperate Straights
Turns out "Caucasian Lullaby" still exists. As does the title track. Disappointing.
Tuesday, April 10, 2018
Four-Point-Five Star Review: Afrirampo: We Are Uchu No Ko
the Tago Mago of *takes a huge hit from the bong* "but like dude can you imagine like if Boredoms were girls? man, that shit'd be... damn, man... *cough*"
"but like OOIOO already exists, asshole."
"asshole! asshole. but like imagine if every period of Boredoms career, from their noisecore beginnings to the full-on kosmiche psych jams of the VCN era were scrambled together and forcefed through the prism of a two-woman guitar and drum zolo duo? and the end result was maybe the best rock album of this decade? man, it'd be like a... peon? is that the word? a paean, yeah, to female creativity and a reminder of how much better all rock music, from the Byrds to Deep Purple to Black Flag to King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard and beyond would be if the musicians were women."
"that's just the weed talking, dude."
"the weed or the estradiol."
"but like OOIOO already exists, asshole."
"asshole! asshole. but like imagine if every period of Boredoms career, from their noisecore beginnings to the full-on kosmiche psych jams of the VCN era were scrambled together and forcefed through the prism of a two-woman guitar and drum zolo duo? and the end result was maybe the best rock album of this decade? man, it'd be like a... peon? is that the word? a paean, yeah, to female creativity and a reminder of how much better all rock music, from the Byrds to Deep Purple to Black Flag to King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard and beyond would be if the musicians were women."
"that's just the weed talking, dude."
"the weed or the estradiol."
Saturday, April 7, 2018
(Formerly) Five Star Review: Robert Wyatt - Rock Bottom
Yeah, how do I say this? Album, you're being demoted.
Rock Bottom, paradoxically, can count itself as one of the most flawed and one of the most perfect albums I've ever laid ears... laid in my... my ears got laid by (or with?) this album, is, I think, what I'm trying to say, because that's what people say. My ears lay with this album, in the Biblical sense, a bunch of times over the past just under fifteen or so years and it actually has a life even outside that, because I sing the opening, "Sea Song," a lot. In, honestly, a lot of situations that hearing me warble "partly fish, partly porpoise, partly baby sperm whale" (or anything involving that penultimate word there) or, for that matter, "when you're drunk, you're terrific," in a bad English old man baby accent, is disconcerting, as it would be, like, I've never been to a bar mitzvah or bar matzvah, but I'd imagine that that's exactly the sort of place I'd find ideal to just let my inner Bobby Wyatt out for everyone's enjoyment. Rant about Palestine, praise Stalin. This album honestly has like three of the greatest songs I've ever heard in my life, absolutely tip-top, top-notch, you'll need another notch in your belt to digest all the goodness in these songs, just good really fine quality choons even my mother loves. Except it's more like it's got one amazing song and then another amazing song twice, at different speeds, in different keys, and then a really short snippet of song followed by a spoken word bit by a man who if voices could be made into food, it's a good thing we can't make voices into food because there'd be none of this man's voice-food left because I would eat it all and die because it's very rich, probably. It is at least theoretically the most perfectly structured album, to boot. It's really very clever, the way the songs interact with and reference each other. "But then why isn't it five stars, woman, get to the point!?" I hear you exasperate. It's cuz the whole thing is flabby and noodly as fuck, that's why. There's just a lot of, well, vast areas in the songs where there's just a bass just flopping back and forth, or Commie Bob making whale noises or other such undesirable chaff that fattens up the perfect little nuggets of melody at their core til they've got foie gras for livers. "Alifie my larder?" Sounds like the sounds themselves indeed got larded up! It could've been the greatest EP ever with no effort but it had to be ruined by the keyboardist from Frink Ployd, who I will not honour enough to look up his name, I think it's Davey or something like that, farting about, because all that filler is not jazz by any stretch of the imagination. Ultimately, the thing that made me realize I didn't need this at 5 stars, or really, to ever listen to it beyond the final track, is because "Sea Song" and "Alifib" are honestly way more fun to perform myself than to listen to even one of my favorite vocalists perform them. I honestly can't think of another album that that has happened to. Transa? Nah. Casablanca Moon? Maybe. It's an anomaly: a nearly perfect, horribly flawed masterpiece.
Rock Bottom, paradoxically, can count itself as one of the most flawed and one of the most perfect albums I've ever laid ears... laid in my... my ears got laid by (or with?) this album, is, I think, what I'm trying to say, because that's what people say. My ears lay with this album, in the Biblical sense, a bunch of times over the past just under fifteen or so years and it actually has a life even outside that, because I sing the opening, "Sea Song," a lot. In, honestly, a lot of situations that hearing me warble "partly fish, partly porpoise, partly baby sperm whale" (or anything involving that penultimate word there) or, for that matter, "when you're drunk, you're terrific," in a bad English old man baby accent, is disconcerting, as it would be, like, I've never been to a bar mitzvah or bar matzvah, but I'd imagine that that's exactly the sort of place I'd find ideal to just let my inner Bobby Wyatt out for everyone's enjoyment. Rant about Palestine, praise Stalin. This album honestly has like three of the greatest songs I've ever heard in my life, absolutely tip-top, top-notch, you'll need another notch in your belt to digest all the goodness in these songs, just good really fine quality choons even my mother loves. Except it's more like it's got one amazing song and then another amazing song twice, at different speeds, in different keys, and then a really short snippet of song followed by a spoken word bit by a man who if voices could be made into food, it's a good thing we can't make voices into food because there'd be none of this man's voice-food left because I would eat it all and die because it's very rich, probably. It is at least theoretically the most perfectly structured album, to boot. It's really very clever, the way the songs interact with and reference each other. "But then why isn't it five stars, woman, get to the point!?" I hear you exasperate. It's cuz the whole thing is flabby and noodly as fuck, that's why. There's just a lot of, well, vast areas in the songs where there's just a bass just flopping back and forth, or Commie Bob making whale noises or other such undesirable chaff that fattens up the perfect little nuggets of melody at their core til they've got foie gras for livers. "Alifie my larder?" Sounds like the sounds themselves indeed got larded up! It could've been the greatest EP ever with no effort but it had to be ruined by the keyboardist from Frink Ployd, who I will not honour enough to look up his name, I think it's Davey or something like that, farting about, because all that filler is not jazz by any stretch of the imagination. Ultimately, the thing that made me realize I didn't need this at 5 stars, or really, to ever listen to it beyond the final track, is because "Sea Song" and "Alifib" are honestly way more fun to perform myself than to listen to even one of my favorite vocalists perform them. I honestly can't think of another album that that has happened to. Transa? Nah. Casablanca Moon? Maybe. It's an anomaly: a nearly perfect, horribly flawed masterpiece.
Monday, April 2, 2018
greatest trilogy of albums ever? (extra points if that's the band's entire recorded legacy)
it's OBVIOUSLY one of these THREE:
Guernica's three
the legit Dr. Buzzard's albums
or
the original Pyramids triptych
just kidding it's the first three Magnetic Fields albums duh
Guernica's three
the legit Dr. Buzzard's albums
or
the original Pyramids triptych
just kidding it's the first three Magnetic Fields albums duh
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